F.R.I.E.N.D.S

How on earth will a 2 year old have friends ? 

As i was chatting with my neighbour her daughter Preksha came running all upset with tears rolling down her red cheeks amd gasping... ' Mommy i missed my friends while riding the bike, im loooking for them now they are out sight and they are not even bothered to look for me....im sure they are happily riding their bikes..Preksha is 6 years old and her Mom tells me now at this age they get emotional about friends whilst she tried to convince her 'No dear im sure they must be looking out for you, how about standing here outside our house they'l come and call you im sure' said Ramyaa my Indian neighbour. A thought passed by me and i always wanted an answer for this 'Can Two year olds have Friends' ??? As far as i remember  when sunshine was born and i started the evening pram strolls when he was an infant i was fortunate to find  2 best mommy pals whose friendship i cherish till date ...So us 'threesome' with our little ones would walk every evening monday to friday 5pm to 6pm with our babies in the pram watching the sky or hearing the birds chirp or maybe watching their lovely moms :) and their mommies would go on n on n on yapping until one of the babies would screech like a chalk on the board and the others would follow and we get the alarm okay time for their feed so bye bye evenings....

So i can say  sunshine was fortunate to find friends from his pram ride days or rather Mom befriended them for sunshine and it was also a happy co-incidence that these three babies were a month apart May - June - July so even more a reason for the three mommies to connect. 

Coming back to friendship.. so when we did the big move to the west sunshine was going to be almost two and i know back in India his friends were to start school in june bcos june is the beginning of an academic year there.. out here its september but out here pre-school starts only at three complete years and i was anyway a anti early pre school mom i would lecture some of my hyper mom friends back in India who'd enroll their kids for a mother toddler program at 6 months of age and then graduate to a crawler program maybe at 8 months and then some hours of summer camp at 1 and then some early year cirrculum at 15 months and  by the time they are two they obviously have a bunch of friends aint' it ? Wrong !! In my opinion till a kid cant speak and express himself hes not ready for a school here kids actually dont go to school till 5 years of age a formal kindergarden starts at 5 of course you do have the day care run  pre schools at earlier ages like 3 plus but the point is  its so much easier for a 4 year old to go to school without any fuss bcos he or she can understand that school is a place they go to learn, play, make friends etc etc vis a vis a 15 month old. And my question is and till date i have this question how will kids  that young really play with each other they just dont understand the concept of sharing their toys, they can get tricky,the'yve surely grown enough to have their ideas and wants but their bodies and emotions are so different from one another. so in short they just play in tandem be it a birthday party where the moms are more excited to socialise or maybe a family outing with other families with kids i have noticed kids at 2 are in their own world and play at a safe distance from other kids...(thankfully)

.....And then these annoying posts i read on baby sites

 'How do i get my clingy baby to socialise in a birthday party'

'My toddler wants me to carry him always hes just so clingy'

'My toddler would cry if i speak to someone else on the phone'

Sunshine is a super clingy kid i've had days when he'd crawl inside the kitchen and stay underfoot while im cooking and cry till i have'nt carried him. its OK if kids are clingy - mind you in just a couple of years they are going to be have thier own social life,parties to attend, meet their friends and own  cell phones too :) so why not enjoy this clinginess and get that mind numbing distraction the 'cell phone' out of your way :) 

......And not to beat some super emotional quotes mostly  advertisements from Early pre schools

'Gift  your child the exercise of practical life - with the help of our developmental tools that encourage  independance and social relations.

Okay so again i dont have anything against this but my question is how is a 15month old going to attain independance by attending these early programs  oh yes he is going to stay away from his Mom for 2 hours is that going to make him independant - crap!! The toughest part in a kid s life is 'seperation anxiety' all kids whether a infant or toddler or preschooler will and have to experience this why not - They lived in a' mommy world' all this time and then a sudden change without their permission or knowledge put them in front of 10 alien faces why would'nt they cry or miss their Mom. My heart melted when i dropped him to school the first day, he had learnt to say Mamma when he was 6 months old and till date he would keep calling out to me a hundred times 'Mamma' 'Mamma' to seek my attention. In the school the moment he saw i was'nt around after i sneaked out from his class he called out Mamma at least a 100 times. sobbbb my heart melted it cracked into pieces and pieces i wanted to go get drunk and sob... the worst was i had to wait out bcos we i wasnt driving then and his Dad was to fetch us in 2 hours so i got a chance to see the class come out to the playground and sunshine came out sobbing and yet feeling a bit relieved seeing his swing i saw his teacher made him sit in the swing but who s gona sing 'ants go marching for him' he always wants me to sing this song when he swings and he has a broad sunshine smile on his face enjoying the swing ride totally but he looked so so sad on that swing so lost and so confused. he dint know what on earth was going on.

'India pressure  pressure - i literally pushed him to play with these 4 year olds :)

But the pressure on school and sunshine not playing with friends was on me my family back in India kept complaining he needs a life beyond you so enroll him in a school otherwise he will only cling to you all day. he must be getting bored at home all day with you, he will love the school and would only want to go to school watch it etc etc trust me its exactly the opposite he hates the word school if i ask him you'l go to school he says 'Enugh'  (his best answer if he has to say a big 'No') and  the best one Hahahaha  till date i laugh over this my poor sister who had taken him to a play area in a mall in Bombay was witnessed to a parent coming up to her and asking 'does he go to school' bcos sunshine tried to push her kid, my sister was like he  'ummm ...No he does not live here actually, ummm hes only 22 months ,im only his aunt ' the lady told her 'my  son went to school at 22 months only and they learn to socialise well' and i mentioned this in my previous blog too i was so exasperated  with this parent coming up to me in a play-area back in India asking me 'which school' ....and advised me they will get independant if they go to school she was probably pitying me that i was playing with sunshine running around with him in the park .  Despite all this free advise and pressure i never sent sunshine to school till he was 2.5 years that too only bcos it was winters here and there was nothing much to do . But the school trip was only twice a week skipping most of the days bcos of the chilly winters, snowy days offs,waking up late etc etc and then a full stop on account of a India summer break that lasted for 2 good months :) so school was a non event all erased from memory and  now that we are back here we deserve to enjoy the summers and sunny days afterall sunshine loves sunny days and staying outdoors hence no school :) for some more time but  the big question......

 'Do two year olds have Friends in the real sense' or  'Does sunshine have friends yet'? 

Yes his Mommy is his best friend, some farm animals are his friends, some ants and creepy crawly insects and some chirpy birds, rabbits and some squirrel visiting our garden and last but not the least the fishes and turtles are his friends and  we have a awesome social life!!

Happy sunshine days are forever!!

Scroll down to meet some of our friends.....


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Sunshine my dear boy my dear friend im your friend for now and forever  i love you to the moon and back. to infinity and beyond, forever and ever and ever....

 P.S - Yes  I did find an answer to my question ' Two year olds dont have Friends' the curious that i got (and which is why i penned down this blog)  i asked Ramyaa so did Preksha have friends when she was Two... she thought for a bit and said 'oh no she'd not care much even though she went to a day care she never addressed anyone as a friend  till she was four or so :) :)