Our Diwali story in the days of windy Autumn

As a kid i grew up carrying over loads of diwali homework and one of it but of course would be an essay or compostion on Diwali - not just in English but Hindi & Marathi too and all i remember writing 'The festival of lights' ...and how i'd spend my diwali in Chennai with my grandparents..the sweets ....savories... new clothes ... the chennai tam brahm

tradition of waking up at 5am having a oil bath and wearing your new clothes and go overboard on the 'Pataas' at dawn. Pataas in tamil means the crackers. The Ladies would be busy in the kitchen preparing murukku, mixture, ribbon pakoda, oma puddi ec -cetara ec -cetera these are the tamil savories. Again my roots are from Chennai but im a total Bombay wali i grew up in Bombay so we have always been following the bombay way of celebrating Diwali shopping before diwali i really miss shopping for those new clothes, Lakshmi Pooja, phatakada, diyas,bed sheets, curtains, cushion covers colorful lightings, rickshaw rides back home with heavy shopping bags omg a total shopping spree i say!! And Mumbai wht do i say  i simply love the spirits of Mumbai Im what Im today bcos of Mumbai i love the energy levels whatever it be especially when it comes to festivals and celebrations there is no leaf thats unturned its so so festive and full of spirits.And the shokeepers of Mumbai as they call Dukanwala they are simply awesome they will remind you of your diwali list :) 

My city -  Mumbai the city of lights, city of spirits

So ...as i grew up celebrating diwali in full spirits now that im in the west diwali falls in autumn with the cold breeze and rain on diwali day and happily falling on a weekday i was wondering how do i keep my spirits up i definitely needed to feel my Desi - ness. The day was long i picked sunshine from school and we went into our local indian store  and Oh Boy - it was filled to the brim with diwali decoration, diyas, sweets, savories you name it and you have it there that  definitely lit up my diwali spirits and having spent 8 hours at work listening to back to back web cast and other training stuff this definitely was like a wooo- hoo moment. We went back home heavy with shopping bags and luckily Daddy had put up the lights over the weekend well luckily also holiday lights as they call it here are easily available bcos we are only a month away from christmas you see, so my spirited 3 year old - kept calling those holiday lights 'Diwali' 'Diwali' as i read out to him a wonderful book on Diwali - The festival of lights, the festival of lights over darkness, the festival of victory of Lord Rama - the victory of the good over the evil!!

truimph diwali lighting  over darkness - i captured the moon on my camera

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We did our lakshmi pooja, enjoyed decorating the patio with diyas and sunshine savored over the besan laddoos. It was a happy Diwali  at the end of the day and also prosperous i ended up  impressing goddess Lakshmi by performing pooja the next day too bcos of some confusion of the exact day for lakshmi pooja back in India :) To top it all my cute neighbour Shilpa & her daughter Aditi brought over some 'phool Jadi s ' and that definitely added to the spark of our diwali!! 

Happy Diwali to my family & friends back in India and all over the world. Feel Festive feel Desi always!!

The Celebration aftermath!!

My Patio balcony all lit up - felt festive!!!!

He looks like a Pro ;)

'Toddler - ese' - Toddler activities

The everlasting  infinite endless eternal 'toddler -ese' courtesy sunshine. So he turned 3 but its not that its a dot in time or a new bubble in space to notice a huge change in them. whoever said at 3 they become boys from the little babies that they were. He is still this huggable, kissable & tantrum outburst at its best - little guy. He s' very much a Mamma s boy all ready to take a plunge into something new at the same time gets engrossed happily in all play activities i probably think its the lack of Television thats keeping him connected to other natural interests and to Mommy of course ;) Yes he does not have any frenzy for TV characters like the Starwars Hulk, or Batman or Superman :) (he does know Spiderman bcos spider is a bug and hes in the buga - boo mood these days ul know it soon, down in my blog). I know i know he might be missing those muscled mighty men characters and in fact one Mom (as usual the pressure from an  Indian Mom) who has a 4 year old told me switch on the TV and show this this n that that  their communication skills will improve they will pretend play etc etc well this was a tip for sunshine s' 3 year old birthday from her i agree with her but  i kind of paid a deaf ear to it later on  b'cos honestly we have no time for TV its summers and i can't hold on to my horses from stepping out and hitting the parks. Pennsylvania  is so so so beautiful ...the parks have a different energy altogether its not just about swings or slides but you have story time sessions at the park, some parks have a barn with farm animals, some have the relaxing sound of water fall or fountain and my boy has an amazing fancy for waterfall or fountain he loves the sound of the calm waterfall trust me i google on parks that have a pond or fountain or waterfall bcos it keeps my toddler way too busy. I love getting out as much as possible i dont care if its too sunny or raining a bit frequent chances to burn up energy and play in the fresh air keep your spirited toddlers in balance.

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces up,
snow oh wow its exhilarating, there is no such thing as bad weather 
just different types of good weather!! - John Ruskin

I live by this quote it defines me totally and i want my boy to be acclimatized to all sorts of weather.

........So TV has some more time for us maybe in the winter evenings. We prefer staying outdoors watching the bugs crawl, watching the aeroplanes fly, playing in the sand, identifying the changing leaves color,splashing water in the pool etc etc

Glaring at the calm sound of the fountain

eternal love for fountains

So what exactly is Toddler-ese ? There are many meanings to it : 

1)Three years old and a toddler - ese character - They are now old enough to have their attention span extended way beyond the 10 - 15 minutes span that they used to religiously follow at the age of 1 but now   they can stare at a waterfall or fountain for a bit pull out one of their toy and raise it up so that the toy feels the splashing water from the fountain or simply make their animal toy drink some water so a decent half an hour easily in one activity.

2)Toddler - ese oops they aren't distracted that easily if you thought so  - Now that they are 3 they are opinionated, verbal,  independant, agreeable (to some extent) engrossed and a lot more active as compared to early 2s. As early as 1 we could easily distract them with a toy or rattle when they are crying to change diapers or just crying you know but now you cant really distract them and disturb their attention  from the activity that they are engrossed in. Distraction can backfire it needs to be used thoughtfully if you distract them saying 'hey look outside there is a bird there'  when they are upset about a block building he built which just collapsed he might think you are not paying attention to their need. So here s a tip ~~
 Great communication really works. your 3 year old can easily understand you and can deftly use words to express her ideas to you hence its very important we communicate back in a manner without letting their feelings down and empathising towards them always.They do get upset if we want them to leave from the park especially when they are engrossed in a activity they know the rules but a tantrum can explode again they know they are not a baby but they also know they are not a big kid so good communication with a lot of gesturing, emphasis, phrases and repitition helps!! 
'
I know you love parks(empathy) and fountain oh the waterfall is indeed beautiful (empathy exagration) but we can come back tomorrow bcos its evening and Daddy gets back home to see you and its dinnner time  we are hungry too' (emphasis on the need of the hour)

3)Respect their choice do not underestimate them  - So three year old do have a emotional quotient so if they love doing certain activity do not get pressurised that the 'other 3 year old in the park is riding a bike so why cant you or see your friends are running up and down the slide why cant you'. Respect your toddler s choice if its playtime he will do whats best for his time he has a choice and we need to respect that choice, show you care about his activity with words, with actions if they need your attention for example - We know so many bugs by now ladybug, bumble bee, dragon fly, spider, butterfly etc etc and the excitement my toddler gets in spotting these bugs and watching them carefully my little einstein scientist that he is i encourage him guess what i got some bugs books for him, we got bugs stickers and made a bug - boo project sticking cutting etc and he loves the fact that Mommy is involved!! Respecting their choice and encouraging them boosts up their self esteem.

Bug - Boo project :)

this is our buga boo reading list for the next one year :)

And this is how my girafffe friend and I  get busy like the 'Bugs'

4)Don't mock or benate  - Especially after a tantrum outburst the little guy is upset all you can do is hug and repeat i know why you are upset, use positive words like you are strong and a big boy but mind you never mock or tease or make fun of them. It will either shrive her self confidence or make her dig in her heels and become even more defiant. I know many of us grew up with a phrase called ' Shame Shame puppy shame tell your blah blah okay i dont remeber it ... .so anyway if a kid is upset  either give him space or make him understand after hes calmed down but never 'Mock'

5)Toddler -ese  can also mean the best age for introducing montessori activities - What exactly are montessori activities? Its pure practicality they  love projects, feeling practical  life tools,natural learning, advanced pretend play all of this with freedom as long as your child is safe and using the freedom in a positive manner.No kid for that matter likes to be supervised when it comes to toys and tools. If they want to play with trains so be it dont tell them to use the truck instead bcos the truck is gifted by your Mom :) let them have the space and freedom to choose what they want to play with afterall their tiny brains are directing them what exactly they have to do for the moment. Independance and self directed learning are important goals of Montessori whether you are home schooling or they attend a school outside.


My Tip ~~I simply love the concept of hands on learning that montessori concept emphasises on - like preparing dinner,making flour dough he loves doing it  yes its official my boy loves kitchen set and cooking so be it its not compulsory that boys need to ride trucks and girls need to use a kitchen set. its an activity afterall!!

Dough making at its best!

And heres the master chef!!

another uniqueTool - we use it at our work station - its called 'The Number table mat'

Montessori tool - Large alphabet puzzle mat

balcony bloom - nurturing his little garden

natural learning  - Plants, trees, leaves, colors of the leaves, how do plants grow, how do we nurture them etc etc all of this can be taught to a curious three year old. Pick up a themes and just make it as natural as possible like shape of the earth, the World, The 4 seasons, planets, rains &clouds, shapes of the moon etc etc 

6)Time distribution for montessori activities  - I know we are all blessed with good resources and hence spend on our kids but its not about owning the toys and dumping it in a toy basket, organising and rotating and planning your day or week is a wonderful montessori concept.(pssst Im yet to master this art, i will do the planning part moreso in winters right now outdoor is our priority :)) but when we are home i do try to rearrange his toys or open a new toy or introduce him to some new concept from the toy etc etc  im currently setting up my toddlers room and my idea is to make a lot of DIY stuff from home waste and now is the time to label stuff and make them understand their toy station. We have a tray for blocks, animals, cooking toys, outdoor toys label them works wonders. easier to clean up too and encourage your child to clean up now this is the age!!Although my son has a beautiful school and they follow themes in their teaching methodology but what you can do at home is an added advantage and a lot of fun.

A friend gifted him a awesome pack of books - we made it into a 'The 4 seasons theme'  its not just about reading them but showing the practicality of each season!!

                                                                                                                And this is how we learnt 'summers' our fav season 

learning the world around us - tools used a mini globe, table mat size world map & some colorful numbers to number the continents & ocean !!

So wishing you all a  Happy Toddlerhood & its worth being noteworthy and be appreciable of the  'Toddler - ese' characteristics  in your house its all about bringing out the 'happy kid' quotient in your child... intelligence, smartness & other milestones will naturally follow. Happy Parenting and enjoy the journey of the gifted Toddlerland. Mind you toddlerhood may pass in the blink of an eye and very soon youl be packing some laughs and tustles as they set foot on the shores of childhood. I hope to pen down a lot so that i can recall all of this as my sunshine grows up....

Lots of Love,
Sunshine s Mommy
P.S Watch out for this space for more pictures & printables on montessori tools. 

its good to arrange a space for toys and tools in the living room too  we have a vehicles & books theme for this week

another book corner in the living room made from waste boxes

We are 3 ! A quick catch up on my party .....

Yes you' re invited :)) so you might know we celebrated sunshine s birthday recently with a full on buddy budday boo style. As a Mom i'm so excited when sunshine s birthday is nearing b'cos i get busy planning his birthday i have planned all his birthdays so far and its been unique in its own way. But this time I just decided a last minute party trust me :-!

So what did we do this time ? Last 2 years we celebrated it in the fulltoo family way throwing a huge party in a party hall, buffet dinner, ballons, kiddy activities, some fun return gifts etc etc  I'm not normally one to go all out on kids parties neither Am I as creative as these professional party planners especially the DIY pinterest ones are inspirational oh back in India I did not really get a good planner unfortunately in fact for sunshine s first birthday I hired a planner but did all the creativity by myself  I always did a inspirational theme. my sunny boy loves animals so first year it was a animal theme with a cute elephant cake and animals wearing party hats the planner conveniently got the jungle book mowgli animals but i changed it all and gave him a picture of how i want the animal cut outs to be,second year was Thomas the train so it was a train invite, train cake, lots of train goodies for kids, I printed some sheets with a Thomas the tank engine drawing and kept crayons on the party table so kids got busy colouring. We had some interesting goody bags  for the returns. Kids loved the bag and opened it all in the party itself :) so i do think out of the box and end up doing some creative stuff ;) This year we went a tad different. Daddy and I decided not to spend too much on the party and also not to overwhelm the little thing with too many kids and adults so we wanted it low key in short and just a family outing maybe a dinner or some favorite play place.

Just about 2 days before his birthday a lovely idea struck my mind, i thought of things he likes to do and what is his fun quotient  etc etc not to forget he still does not know that a birthday is a birthday you know what i mean... a birthday for sunshine is a song, it means clapping hands, it simply means a nursery rhyme from his zillion rhymes playlist, it also means Mommy should sing the next song 'Hey Diddle Diddle' bcos after' happy birthday' its' hey diddle diddle' in his nursery rhyme playlist :-!!

So at 3  my boy surely did not care much about a birthday or a birthday party as such but you know  Mommy s enthu cutlets as usual started popping up and  after much deliberation Mommy decided why not do a party in a small and intimate way but keeping the party quotient alive and the' party'  part is always there afterall we celebrated in a grand scale last 2 years and like most indian families go overboard :- D  with the guest list - so did we uncles s uncles, that far relative,oh this friend has a similar age kid who is his nephew so call them too,  the entire neighbourhood etc etc its almost like a mini indian wedding reception with a photographer running behind almost anyone, capturing some funny moments like maybe your neighbour s mom relishing the cake :D

Okay Okay Coming back to the party this year, so i wanted to keep up the trend but celebrate it just amongst few buddies - cake-lollipops- ballons- all these were in my mind ....so i thought why not a outdoor park, sunny summer days are here and kids love being outside the house playing all day, i picked up a beautiful river front park with picnic benches  one of my favorite and sunshine loves it too bcos the added advantage to this park is a live farm with geese walking freely in the park or some trying to get into the river, some ducks, some roosters and Hens in a barn, 2 baby wolves oh my gosh who look like huge dogs (caged but of course)for  sunshine  they are doggy, also there is just one donkey, some goats and some turkeys the gobble-  gobble . For my animal lover this was of course nothing but a feast. So a farm animal ranch  was the theme this time.

So i quickly made an invite and decided to call only a few close  friends, we went shopping the day before and i ran over my birthday to do list and shopped merrily!!The party was in the morning at 11.30am bcos earlier in the week the weather report showed signs of rains although it was a very sunny day but i did not want to take a  chance afterall the party was outdoor in a open space. I barely slept for 3 hours out of excitement and was up at 7am started preparing  stuff for the party. The menu was all home made snacks - cocktail idlis, margarita cheese pizza, and some sumptous creamy mayonnise sandwiches. Friends back in India exchanged some recipes with me on watsapp some were youtube found and some my own , My Dad helped me with idlis and also packing all the stuff and everything turned out to be fingerlicious !! Sunshine s Daddy checked-in everything into the car trunk.We stopped by to buy balloons and what a awesome party it was... Sunshine strolled with theflock of geese initally, as the party buddies started arriving one by one we all sat by the beautiful schuylkill river bank and the kids were busy throwing stones into the water whilst Mommies posed for some clicks. All the Kids had the party hat on except sunshine who conveniently threw it away in exactly 60 seconds luckily i managed a click though.We blew the number 3 candle as sunshine eagerly waited to have his cupcake, all sang the happy birthday song and sunshine interrupted 'Hey diddle diddle' for those who can understand what i mean. we had to sing quickly and then all kids had a feast having their own cup cakes and snacks. its so much easier with cup cakes you know. After snacking we all strolled around to see the farm animals and the kids refused to go back home they had a blast!! It was party time at its best!! kids doing their own stuff, Moms &  Dads chatting, sipping, eating and also having their 3rd eye on the kids :) it was a happy ' Happy birthday party'.

The biggest milestone at 3 is kids start talking they graduate from a toddler to a preschooler (somewhat) well  sunshine s talking is yet very cute he joins words most often,  sometimes its a sentence like' keep ittta their'  meaning' keep it there' so the last one year the journey between 2 to 3 his dictionery goes like this :

Libeary (Library)

Eagu park (Eagleville Park)

Audom park (Audobon court Park)

Illdiii (Idli)

Uppaa (Upma)

chapiiti (chapati)

Sanfich (Sandwich)

bed (Bread)

Bikkki  (biscuit)

Lappo (Laptop)

Eiphant (Elephant)

Hippotopotopomus (Hippopotamus)

Zoo

Scoo (School)

lo mowa (Lawn Mower)

Cycle

Caaaaa (Car)

Get Done (Get Down)

Enughhhhh (A big No - Enough)

Daddnnnn (Daddy)

Mamma (Mommy)

Tathaa (Thatha - Grandfather)

Paatti sometimes it goes patty  (Paatti Grandmother)

Saindaa Maasi (Sandhya Maasi - earlier it used to be Maaiiii)

Sonyyyy (Sony Maasi)

Achchcha (Achacha - Grandfather)

Annnty (Achamma Grandmother)

Taishaaa (Tanisha & Tanishka - cousins both were referred to as Taishaaa)

Nambundaaa (Nandu Mama)

Peeetiii aunty (Preethi Aunty)

Pemaaaa (Prema Aunty)

Kol Patty (Kollu Patty - Great Grandmother)

Doyyyyiiii (Dolly)

This is somewhat a list i compiled so that i remember all of this when he grows up once again Happy birthday to my dear sunshine stay happy forever and thanks for making Mommy happier by the day !!!


Lots of Love

Sunshine s Mommy

Quick bits toddler tips - Its not that complicated !!

Toddlerhood the highpoints of parenthood. the beautiful stage between one to three (maybe a lil beyond that too) where the world is so beautiful and they make you see the world in wonderful new ways..from the bugs in the grass.. to the shapes in the clouds,colors of the rainbow...some fireflies sparkling in the evening hours...to the sound of a waterfall or fountain.. Toddlers brim with curiosity,excitement and an irresistible charm.

As you all know i have a toddler named Sunshine and now that its summers there is so much of outside play and bucket list that runs over and keeps us so so busy. one tick on our busy bucket list is visiting the childrens museum  i often take sunshine to the 'Please touch museum' a wonderful exhibit and touch and play museum filled with imaginative play toys and tools for kids i simply love going there we try and go in the summers on the first Wednesday of every month. so last year we must have gone there like ...4 consecutive months  but did not attempt to go in the winters. So this summers  i took him almost after 6 or 7 months and i could notice he really recognised the place so well that he first wanted to do a survey round of the entire museum  he played  a bit in the water play area (he loves to move small boats and ducks here it his favorite place) but quickly walked downstairs towards 'goosey' and 'Moo' i was disappointed bcos i thought why is he not staying back here at the water play area the last time we came he loved it . but i slowly began to realise he took a round of the whole museum played a bit with all the play tools he could recollect and then came back to the water thing again and spent a good half an hour there :) Toddlers do have a strong opinion now - Welcome to toddlerhood!!

I also love visiting different libraries and my local library has a reading  program named 'Terrific Toddlers' and i thought it was so cool because it exactly defines the way they are..yes they are upright, opinionated, headstrong and travelling so fast like the 'Light in action' and that they are just so terrific little stars!! They are like this pre-historic human tribes - strong willed, tenacious,distracted and impatient. So ive been reading, hearing, smelling, seeing a toddler and hence got a tad more curious and decided to borrow more books on  toddlers to understand them and know more about their little world and heres what i came up with....

 Quick bits toddler tips:

The different  phases of tantrums - I'm sure like 'Terrific Toddlers' there are a few other Ts that define toddlers and the biggest one being 'Tantrum' What exactly is a tantrum - its this long shrill screammmmmmmm that could shatter glass! And bcos they are toddlers and do have a opinion but cant speak up always or express it clearly they do throw tantrums and get agitated if things don't go their way here s the crux - do you just give them what they want bcos they'l stop screeching and screaming or let the tantrum continue for a bit let them calm by themselves? If you are at home walk into another room and ignore them they'l come walking up to you for attention after the tantrum bells stop ringing they know you are ignoring them this is the best time to calm them and explain to them what is right or wrong but don't stretch it beyond a point their brains are little yet and they will gather how much they are supposed to but trust me this works!!

If you experience a tantrum at the supermarket or at a children s story time (this has happened with me) best is to walk out get into your car and have some quiet time. I tell sunshine lets make some giraffe sounds  after a outdoor tantrum, just so you know giraffes don't have vocal chords so giraffe sound is equal to a quiet time. They get the message that when you are outdoor a tantrum might not be a good thing and hence Mommy expects some silence.

 Do not Punish but praise using 'time outs' - Start practising time outs after the age of 2.5 thats when they will understand at least a bit of it. If you think something is not right and he repeatedly does the same give him a  'Time out 'and  tell him to sit quiet in his time out chair in a corner for 2 minutes and talk to them cheerfully whilst they are seated there that  as you grow the time out times would increase so at the age of 3 it would be 3 minutes at 4 it would be 4 minutes and so on they get the hint! Always praise that they did a good job sitting quiet and listening to Mommy during a time out.So it ain't a punishment but the praise that can get you a win - win!!

Good Manners - Manners can be taught to toddlers as early as 2 or 2.5 years. I know a lot of parents who complain they won't bring their toddlers to a restaurant bcos they fear glasses breaking, table tops being pulled out etc etc. Good manners like table manners, saying please, thank you, sorry, excuse me can be  taught very much to a toddler. A 2.5 year old must sit thru in a restaurant for dinner in his baby chair yes with a few crayon sticks and a paper is okay till the food arrives. Some kids i see are enthralled with their ipads and gadgets in a restaurant we used to do that too but now i carry it with me just in case its needed else i don't remove it from my bag and instead engage him in talks or simply give him a puzzle to do where he can use his motor skills but surely avoid the ipad.  i guess as parents we are so nervous and predictable about a tantrum outburst that we apply the shortcut but kids can adapt very easily if no ipad is available then no ipad time its simple!!

 Trade Trick - Toddlers do have a tendancy to not share their toys, books, play tools etc with friends. its very very normal bcos they fear that the friend will take it away and they love and are super possesive about their things it 'belongs to me' is their expression with frown eyebrows always afterall we pamper them with so many toys and mountains of play tools at home so all of a sudden a friend who is not a friend in the real sense wants to borrow they don't understand the concept. Try the trade trick if they show a hesitance to share  - announce a trade idea ' lets trade the train for the Dino instead' how about that ? they get into thinking and slowly do understand this concept they might not share immediately but a few try s do work wonders but do not stress it too much just whenever they are ready!!

Side door messages work - Here s' a curious fact of human nature. we believe things we accidentally overhear than something that is told to us directly so if someone says i look beautiful i feel shes just being polite whereas if i hear her telling another friend about me (the same message) i would think its a honest opnion. Toddlers too tend to pay more attention to overhear us  than pay attention to what we tell them directly. So here  it is - Try to create a lot of gossiping and fairy tales pick up his toy phone and call up Daddy and appreciate what a good job he did building blocks or call his grand mom and say he is doing a great job eating his vegetables. All of that side door gossiping works!!!

Reverse psychology yes its superb - Making tendency to work in your favor is what s commonly called 'Reverse psychology' . I got this awesome book for potty training called 'its potty time'so a teddy bear refuses to use the seat although mommy says you are now a big boy. Mommy does not push. One day she brings another potty seat for teddy s doll and says the doll is big now and wears an underwear hence will not wet his pants and wants to use the potty seat so excuse me im going to put dolly in the seat give me a minute curious teddy walks behind and sees what mommy does to the doll  teddy realises and says im a big boy too and i will use my potty seat from now on. I was shocked to know a parent started potty training her little one from the age of 9 months i really wonder if anyone can do that ever goshhh!! Every kid  will do it when they are ready a toddler age typically post 2  is the best to introduce to a seat till then diapers are absolutely ok!!
Use reverse psychology at its best!!!


It aint time outs always there should be plenty of room for time ins too - Time - ins are little tidbits of attention and routine that help your toddler feel valued. Have you noticed when the phone rings your toddler rings his bells of screeches and screaming too thats bcos he knows you are going to ignore him for a bit they feel they have lost you in that period of time. After you finish the phone call (hopefully you've completed the phone conversation) try time - ins - hug them and tell them im here, few other time -ins that you can use more often during the day - give them a cozy massage and engage into a talk, share positive words and hopes, read a book at bedtime and cuddle them tight, make book sharing time a special time for closeness with your child, sing to your toddler, kiss them and say i love you. It works this is the age they wait to hear all this from you so go overboard!!!

one of my favorite Time - in 

So these are my quick bits toddler tips  hope all of it works well with sunshine and with your toddlers too till then .....

Happy Toddlerhood and happy Parenthood !!!

Love,
Sunshine s Mamma

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

How on earth will a 2 year old have friends ? 

As i was chatting with my neighbour her daughter Preksha came running all upset with tears rolling down her red cheeks amd gasping... ' Mommy i missed my friends while riding the bike, im loooking for them now they are out sight and they are not even bothered to look for me....im sure they are happily riding their bikes..Preksha is 6 years old and her Mom tells me now at this age they get emotional about friends whilst she tried to convince her 'No dear im sure they must be looking out for you, how about standing here outside our house they'l come and call you im sure' said Ramyaa my Indian neighbour. A thought passed by me and i always wanted an answer for this 'Can Two year olds have Friends' ??? As far as i remember  when sunshine was born and i started the evening pram strolls when he was an infant i was fortunate to find  2 best mommy pals whose friendship i cherish till date ...So us 'threesome' with our little ones would walk every evening monday to friday 5pm to 6pm with our babies in the pram watching the sky or hearing the birds chirp or maybe watching their lovely moms :) and their mommies would go on n on n on yapping until one of the babies would screech like a chalk on the board and the others would follow and we get the alarm okay time for their feed so bye bye evenings....

So i can say  sunshine was fortunate to find friends from his pram ride days or rather Mom befriended them for sunshine and it was also a happy co-incidence that these three babies were a month apart May - June - July so even more a reason for the three mommies to connect. 

Coming back to friendship.. so when we did the big move to the west sunshine was going to be almost two and i know back in India his friends were to start school in june bcos june is the beginning of an academic year there.. out here its september but out here pre-school starts only at three complete years and i was anyway a anti early pre school mom i would lecture some of my hyper mom friends back in India who'd enroll their kids for a mother toddler program at 6 months of age and then graduate to a crawler program maybe at 8 months and then some hours of summer camp at 1 and then some early year cirrculum at 15 months and  by the time they are two they obviously have a bunch of friends aint' it ? Wrong !! In my opinion till a kid cant speak and express himself hes not ready for a school here kids actually dont go to school till 5 years of age a formal kindergarden starts at 5 of course you do have the day care run  pre schools at earlier ages like 3 plus but the point is  its so much easier for a 4 year old to go to school without any fuss bcos he or she can understand that school is a place they go to learn, play, make friends etc etc vis a vis a 15 month old. And my question is and till date i have this question how will kids  that young really play with each other they just dont understand the concept of sharing their toys, they can get tricky,the'yve surely grown enough to have their ideas and wants but their bodies and emotions are so different from one another. so in short they just play in tandem be it a birthday party where the moms are more excited to socialise or maybe a family outing with other families with kids i have noticed kids at 2 are in their own world and play at a safe distance from other kids...(thankfully)

.....And then these annoying posts i read on baby sites

 'How do i get my clingy baby to socialise in a birthday party'

'My toddler wants me to carry him always hes just so clingy'

'My toddler would cry if i speak to someone else on the phone'

Sunshine is a super clingy kid i've had days when he'd crawl inside the kitchen and stay underfoot while im cooking and cry till i have'nt carried him. its OK if kids are clingy - mind you in just a couple of years they are going to be have thier own social life,parties to attend, meet their friends and own  cell phones too :) so why not enjoy this clinginess and get that mind numbing distraction the 'cell phone' out of your way :) 

......And not to beat some super emotional quotes mostly  advertisements from Early pre schools

'Gift  your child the exercise of practical life - with the help of our developmental tools that encourage  independance and social relations.

Okay so again i dont have anything against this but my question is how is a 15month old going to attain independance by attending these early programs  oh yes he is going to stay away from his Mom for 2 hours is that going to make him independant - crap!! The toughest part in a kid s life is 'seperation anxiety' all kids whether a infant or toddler or preschooler will and have to experience this why not - They lived in a' mommy world' all this time and then a sudden change without their permission or knowledge put them in front of 10 alien faces why would'nt they cry or miss their Mom. My heart melted when i dropped him to school the first day, he had learnt to say Mamma when he was 6 months old and till date he would keep calling out to me a hundred times 'Mamma' 'Mamma' to seek my attention. In the school the moment he saw i was'nt around after i sneaked out from his class he called out Mamma at least a 100 times. sobbbb my heart melted it cracked into pieces and pieces i wanted to go get drunk and sob... the worst was i had to wait out bcos we i wasnt driving then and his Dad was to fetch us in 2 hours so i got a chance to see the class come out to the playground and sunshine came out sobbing and yet feeling a bit relieved seeing his swing i saw his teacher made him sit in the swing but who s gona sing 'ants go marching for him' he always wants me to sing this song when he swings and he has a broad sunshine smile on his face enjoying the swing ride totally but he looked so so sad on that swing so lost and so confused. he dint know what on earth was going on.

'India pressure  pressure - i literally pushed him to play with these 4 year olds :)

But the pressure on school and sunshine not playing with friends was on me my family back in India kept complaining he needs a life beyond you so enroll him in a school otherwise he will only cling to you all day. he must be getting bored at home all day with you, he will love the school and would only want to go to school watch it etc etc trust me its exactly the opposite he hates the word school if i ask him you'l go to school he says 'Enugh'  (his best answer if he has to say a big 'No') and  the best one Hahahaha  till date i laugh over this my poor sister who had taken him to a play area in a mall in Bombay was witnessed to a parent coming up to her and asking 'does he go to school' bcos sunshine tried to push her kid, my sister was like he  'ummm ...No he does not live here actually, ummm hes only 22 months ,im only his aunt ' the lady told her 'my  son went to school at 22 months only and they learn to socialise well' and i mentioned this in my previous blog too i was so exasperated  with this parent coming up to me in a play-area back in India asking me 'which school' ....and advised me they will get independant if they go to school she was probably pitying me that i was playing with sunshine running around with him in the park .  Despite all this free advise and pressure i never sent sunshine to school till he was 2.5 years that too only bcos it was winters here and there was nothing much to do . But the school trip was only twice a week skipping most of the days bcos of the chilly winters, snowy days offs,waking up late etc etc and then a full stop on account of a India summer break that lasted for 2 good months :) so school was a non event all erased from memory and  now that we are back here we deserve to enjoy the summers and sunny days afterall sunshine loves sunny days and staying outdoors hence no school :) for some more time but  the big question......

 'Do two year olds have Friends in the real sense' or  'Does sunshine have friends yet'? 

Yes his Mommy is his best friend, some farm animals are his friends, some ants and creepy crawly insects and some chirpy birds, rabbits and some squirrel visiting our garden and last but not the least the fishes and turtles are his friends and  we have a awesome social life!!

Happy sunshine days are forever!!

Scroll down to meet some of our friends.....


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Sunshine my dear boy my dear friend im your friend for now and forever  i love you to the moon and back. to infinity and beyond, forever and ever and ever....

 P.S - Yes  I did find an answer to my question ' Two year olds dont have Friends' the curious that i got (and which is why i penned down this blog)  i asked Ramyaa so did Preksha have friends when she was Two... she thought for a bit and said 'oh no she'd not care much even though she went to a day care she never addressed anyone as a friend  till she was four or so :) :)

Father s Day special !!!

So at the outset i would like to mention this blog is not about the sunshine boy this is about the other boy in my life the 'Hubby Boy' :) so a (Hubby s) friend asked me when do we get to read a blog on him and my answer was whilst hes always on my mind i dint really find enough content to blog on him (and then hes also this shy thing although on the outside he does'nt look so :)) and obviously the most comprehensive encyclopedia ever assembled, the internet does not give me serious or complex content b'cos my blogs are mostly personal diaries and i have to do some serious thinking keeping away all those mind numbing distraction the touch screen, touch texting etc oh yes some of my blogs are travel info blogs too so i do use mother internet a lot to cross check if im not publishing something wrong,  nevertheless i thought why not take this a tad serious and decided i'l write on him for 'Father s day' afterall its a special day that falls on a sunny sunday!!

And.. . whilst hes always on my mind i must admit hes on my mind the most when things go wrong and i'm busy scolding him in my mind  :) but of course ;) hes on my mind when there is a kitchen mess courtesy 'sunshine',  hes on my mind when im out to fetch grocery to the indian store and sunshine is busy dropping all the green beans on the floor or trying to open and close the cold storage door and im like i wish the Hubby was here to handle this lil thing, hes on my mind when im drained off and need some 'me' time and he messages saying 'client dinner'  trust me i have the 'devil horns' look, so in short hes on my mind in most of the arghhhhh moments :))

But i thought its so unfair on my part to not appreciate how he helps me otherwise. So when we had our little sunshine the little that he was - zero days old, the Hubby decided he wants to experience everything about fatherhood from day zero and since the hospital had a policy of only one member sleeping overnight  he decided to stay in the hospital the very first night we had our sunshine and  little did he know it was surely not a piece of cake to handle two cranky babies but he did a great job. After the hospital story when we welcomed the baby back home he was the one who learnt from the nurses back in the hospital how to swaddle the baby, how to prepare the formula milk and how to change Diapers !! He'd even rock the baby and put him to sleep, and times when the little baby did not know the difference between Day and Night and would stay up all night the Hubby would be up all night too. All this with no paternal leave as such and with 2 hours of sleep and making it to work next morning the Hubby came up with dehydration and was terribly sick :( Although we had a wonderful support system from both grandparents the point i wana make is the Hubby went out of his way to live his moment as a Father in those initial days. of course after the sickness and with work pressure he could'nt do much of the baby chores as time passed. But till date the little thing if he sees his Dad he wants him to bathe him and clean him after potty :)  bcos the two of them have a lot of fun in water.

Taking care of each other!!!

our little trio world!!

I realise  in the little trio world that we live in the west today its the small little things that matter  that make you a complete family  its more important that we take care of each other and help each other aint it?  (back in India it did not matter bcos we had so many people to help & take care of us and our baby,,, we dint even realise who did what). A thought passed by me while im writing this 'taking care part'  - So i wanted to be a full time Mom bcos i love it its a choice i made for my son... So this female co-worker pinged me one day just to ask me why i chose not to get back to work and she cant imagine me being a 'housewife' also went to the extent of telling me this other co worker in her new office manages home, work and 2 kids. Okay so 'thanks but no thanks' obviously was my reply to that chat window with a piece of my mind to that fat thing.

( my piece of mind reads : We are very good lawyers to our own mistakes or deeds
 and very good Judges to others ...So stop being judgemental.)

Firstly why cant people mind their own business. secondly what is wrong with the women today the so called glorified career corporate women of India  why is this whole concept of a career women so hyped up only in India, in fact when i went for my first interview here my employer was like 'being a full time mom is a job by itself and the toughest one for sure' of course things are different here and i understand India is developing nation and women in those days were not allowed to study and had to take care of household, kids, parents and could not live a life for themselves... but  today don't we think we have a bit of everything there are more women engineers, doctors, and other professionals but  in  the event of trying to break the glass ceiling and going strong on this women power attitude and trying to be independant  some of them are just competing with their reflective outlook and their ego (but of course) Again i dont mean to generalise the corporate women  here bcos i have some lovely friends from the corporate world who are women but definitely don't throw an attitude like this one. We all just respect each others choice and decisions of life.!!

To me as a family if you have to 'take care' of each other you have to be dependant on each other  i was so so dependant on my father till i graduated and now if im dependant on my husband and im also a 'stay home mom' and i cook a meal for my family does that make me a 'housewife' bring it on then bcos i love it, i  love being dependant on the Hubby bcos it gives me a sense of security,I love cooking a special breakfast on sunday for the Hubby, i like packing his tiffin for work, i like deciding what i should be packing or cooking the next day, i like waiting for him to get home and have dinner with me, of course i love using his credit card for my shopping :) so today if i have more time i ought to go out of my way to do things for the Hubby afterall he did it too when i needed it the most - as simple as that. Husband s graduate to take the title of a Father and its the biggest promotion in their life too. 'When a child is born a mother is born' heard that quote? I'd rephrase this to 'When a child is born a mother & father are born'. So on Father s day what better gift than a few lines of gratitude ...

Here goes sunshine s' gratitude list

Thank you Daddy for your help popping bubbles!!
Thank you Daddy for chasing after balls!!
Thank you Daddy saddling up for shoulder rides!!
Thank you Daddy for the horseback rides!!
Thank you Daddy for being my dance partner!!
Thank you Daddy for lifting me to the sky like a rocketship!!
Thank you Daddy for all those kisses and cuddling!!

Thank you Daddy for being Daddy!!

Most often i do not know how to end my blog and this time i got a little mushy i must admit :)  anyway  i decided to publish this  Hubby Daddy blog on 'father s day' that falls on  June 15 b'cos I  planned a small surprise for 'The special day' and wanted to post a pic of these cute little things i got custom made for him and also did some DIY craft with sunshine for Daddy  ....  here s wishing the  'Hubby' a very 'Happy Father s Day' you are a 'Super Dad' our 'Super Hero'. Stay blessed forever!!! And did i tell you  my Father is visiting me here in PA this year, woo hoo yes  i get to live my moment as a daughter and celebrate Father s Day with full swing :):)  Happy Happy Fathers Day to my darling 'Appa' and to Daddy (my Father in Law) stay blessed forever and thank you God for this special day -  for 'Father s 'Day'!!!

Happy Father s day to my darling Dad (s)

The sew hoop keepsake displaying sugar cubes and ants :) - thanks to  Happy People!!

some cut out craft - displaying all the things sunshine loves !

The cupcake garland by Happy people and my cup cake party style!!!

Back Home - Home sweet Home !

I write to you all as i traverse from the Indian ocean through the Atlantic ocean to the land of the free USA- @ 3am in the night up with a toddler busy playing in full swing both of us jet lagged yup ! So.Back in April 2014 we flew 24 hours to make a visit to our folks to India, it really feels like a decade spent there... A 2 months vacation in the peak of summers after 4 months of brutal winters in north america aahhhh definitely was worth it,  besides i do'nt ever think i've had this vacation time after my school days and in busy India every minute counts.

So the trip was a combination of Bangalore and Bombay. Although ive travelled with the sunshine boy all by myself last year when  i joined Hubby here but let me tell you all those who fear about travelling with a toddler and those stories of restlesness, tantrums etc etc playing out in your kid came true and Hubby and me witnessed the real 'Terrible Two's inside an aeroplane up 6000 feet in the sky. Yes Yes i know i know i hav'ent forgotten terrible two is a negative word for me and does not exist in my life s dictionary:))  but trust me when you are up in the sky and you cant even jump out or pull your hair bcos you have these super co operative and friendly co passengers (punn intended here) you just had to put up an artifical smile on your face to defend yourself for the acts your toddler plays. 

So  the little sunshine was in his best form screaming and screeching his lungs out if he did not get what he wants. So i carried these puzzles - colors, alphabets and numbers which are like foam material and it has to be placed in the puzzle board its a 3A size drawing book kind of thing...my boy is used to sitting on the floor at home and he gets really busy putting and fixing these puzzles whilst i used to appreciate his motor skills and skype folks showing them how smartly my boy does it ...the sunshine boy wanted to do his way in the narrow aeroplane he sat down on the floor when the plane was about to take off ...goodness me :@ silly me why did i ever give him those puzzles now when the plane had to take off i could have rather asked his Dad to read him a book ` ` arghhhhh!! the air hostess gave me an ultimatum please pick him up and buckle him the plane is taking off screeches screeches his Dad did the honors of buckling him up and putting him in the seat next to him ..did not work ..ultimately took him in his lap and diverted his attention outside the window ...spotted a few bridges which are by default a 'London Bridge' I(remember i told you about the nursery rhymes thing in my other blog and his connection to it in real life :)) he got diverted and kept saying see 'London bridge' !! 

Then he saw these crew members come with their trolley to serve dinner and to him it looked like a train he kept saying 'kooo chook chook choo' he wanted me to pull out his' Thomas the  tank engine' a miniature toy version of a engine and he literally got on to his paws and started crawling behind the air-hostess and their train trolley with his train in his little palm riding it under every passengers seat :)). trust me i laughed and enjoyed all of this whilst the Hubby was paranoid and i had to put up a face too to match up with his emotion ;) but seriously i thought whats wrong with me these are things you have to pen down bcos 'A child who does not play is not a child' afterall the poor baby was actively playing little did he know aeroplanes fly and its not a playground. so again i want to reassure myelf... yes  i disagree on 'terrible two s' its rather 'active baby' stage you see ;)

@airport whiling away time !

Has a duck in his hand!!

I dont even know where to start from about the India trip. I kept posting a lot of pics in the name of Bbombaydiaries# i got a chance to meet my school friends, college friends, work friends, all my bestie girlfriends and so much Me time too shopping shopping shopping thats' me time' shopping for sunshine i love it totally...everyday was so interesting.. meeting so many people, different and new set of activities, a lot of talking oh yes did I tell you sunshine  is talking a lot and just repeats what you say earlier it was joining two words like' Mumma sit' 'Mumma go'  although sunshine is a chatty kind but his so called 'american english acsent' suddenly got noticed especially when he started chatting in tamil. People were laughing it out hearing his tamil. His favorite pass time was to spot a few ants on my Mom s kitchen window and he and his Maasi (my sister) would play this ant story. he'd repeat whatever she'd stay. Big ant, Kutti ant(small ant), where ur hiding, and a few giggles off track... we spent about 2 weeks in Bangalore meeting Hubby s folks, sister, brother in law and Sha & Ka ... they are ten now the bubbly twins my sister in law s kids!! Sunshine boy totally loves them and did not let them sit for a minute. play play and only play he drained them off totally. He did not allow them to play with their friends too and they had to cook stories that they are not at home ;@

not letting them eat :)

Awesome Threesome!!

wake up call !!

Did i tell you these kiddos have a cute little Great Grandmom, yeah shes this soft ,cuddly, gentle and calm types always patiently watching and laughing over sunshine s whimsical ways !!unfortunately this sunshine did not co - operate in clicking a picture with her.

Thats her - and V is blessed to spend time with her..

 We got her a cute greeting card where he scribbled with crayons i was more excited than sunshine i love crayons the oil pastels !! i have a huge fascniation for oil pastel crayons. when i was young my parents bought me the 12 or 24 colors but i had a dream to own the 56 colors the big one and the first thing i did in this trip is went to the same stationery shop and got the 56 colors camlin oil pastels for sunshine im going to teach him the art of using crayons i was really good at it!!

I must say Kids are so so attached to their grandparents its just lovely to see them enjoy together..even though hes visiting my folks and Hubby s folks after a year he remembers them and connects so well. He is so attached to my sister its a saying  'Maa -si Maa jasi hoti hai' Moms sisters are like Mom!! At times sunshine would be cuddling my sister and if i enter the room he'd say Mumma bye ' :) he loves his time with her he even cries when she'd leave for work and equally excited and welcomes her back in the evening with cuddling and hugs.

Always a Maasi Boy in Bombay !!

 In fact i was fearing what is going to happen when we return back he is just so full up with his routine and used to the crowd being around but to my surprise he did not really cry he was confused a bit at the airport and in the midst of the flight kept saying 'Patty house' couple of times but i told him we are now going to see Daddy we are going to 'our home' The upper toddler understood it all.' Emotions ' the toughest word in my life s dictionary. its so hard to handle emotions the happy and sad sometimes all clubbed i wish i had the 'emoticons' that i have on my phone here id just paste all of them . its just so heart breaking to see the little him look out for them, imagine that they are coming back with us, pointing out to someone and say 'Adoo Patty' meaning there she is (Patty is my Mom).

 sob ..sob ... handling those emotions ...phew...but anyway this time i told him the truth and it made me feel good too. Truth pays, it does. So we flew homeward bound 22 hours and 7800 miles to see a 'Happy Daddy' at the airport eagerly waiting for us. Nothing can beat the feeling of being together with your family after a longggg vacation and driving homeward bound  - ahhh Home sweet Home!!

Home sweet Home

As i'am sipping my early morning 3 am coffee all jet lagged i read the two frames i nailed on my wall besides my table. it truly meant what i was feeling currently:

It reads:
'Family ties are precious threads no matter where we roam
they draw us close to those we love and pull our hearts towards home'

Wall art!!

So i treated myself in Mumbai with some keepsake shopping stuff for my Home sweet Home....scroll down to the last wall art its the best :)) !! Happy Travelling #  travel blogsspecial#

The 3am coffee only at home sweet home

My Mumbai keepsake (although id always call it Bombay)

Mumbai Chaiwala special!!

And then finally my best keepsake - a gift for the Hubby ;))!!

sincere respect to the most convenient mode of transport the AUTO RICKSHAW!!